Letter from the President April 2019

“Is Suffering a Kiss from Jesus”

This year, our annual Conference on Medicine and religion was held at Duke University, with the theme, “Medicine and Faithful Responses to Suffering.” The title of one talk both intrigued and disturbed me. The title was, “Is Suffering the Kiss of Jesus?” by Kimbell Kornu, MD, Ryan Nash, MD, and Matthew Vest, PhD, from the Center for Bioethics at Ohio State University.

The Conference on Medicine and Religion provides a unique opportunity for physicians and professors in academic religion to speak unashamedly about their faith whether they are Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Sikh, Hindu, or any other religion. The title of the talk, “Suffering as a Kiss from Jesus,” got to me and frankly, I was offended. What would those who suffer think? Suffering is a kiss from Jesus? Or, from God? Surely not, I thought.

Suffering goes beyond physical pain to include psychological, emotional, and spiritual issues. Suffering is also a social issue, wrapped up with the big questions, “When I die what will happen to my family?” “How will we carry on if our daughter dies of leukemia?” “What will life be like when my spouse is gone?” A deeply spiritual question may be, “I thought God loved me. Why is this happening?” or “I have tried to live a good life. Is God punishing me for something?”

As I listed to the presentation, I began to understand that the speakers were inviting us to see suffering as a bridge to God. The presenters made the point that when all is well, part of us may think we do not need God. When we become ill, however, our priorities change. We see everything differently, including our relationship with God.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed, “Father if possible, let this cup pass from me.” Jesus did not want to suffer, yet he said, “Not my will, but thine be done.” In doing so, Jesus maintained the relationship with his heavenly Father.

Here suffering is seen as a tool, a vessel to bring about our maturity, to bring us closer to God, a preparation for meeting God after death. Understood this way, the proper response to suffering is gratitude, a symbol of our trust in God and love of God.

Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl has said, “In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.” Jesus suffered greatly and in his sacrifice on the Cross cried out, “Father, why have your forsaken me?” And, yet, God had not forsaken Jesus. Three days later Jesus was resurrected.

God has not forsaken us when we suffer, nor are we being punished for our sins. God does not want us to suffer. But, suffering can be an instrument to bring us to full maturity as a man or woman of God. This gives meaning to our suffering, and, rightly understood, can be seen as a kiss from Jesus. Or, if you are Jewish, a kiss from G-d. If Muslim, a kiss from Allah.

John K. Graham, MD, DMin President & CEO
Institute for Spirituality and Health