Letter from the President October 2019
“Spirituality: Connecting with Others”
Dear Reader,
In our last newsletter I defined spirituality and said I would address one aspect of my definition in each of the upcoming newsletters. The definition I use is: “Spirituality is the innate ability humans have to connect: to connect to others, to our environment, to the creatures of our environment, to the transcendent Mystery many of us call God, Allah, or Krishna or perhaps we prefer not to name that Mystery and instead stand in awe of the Universe. In addition, this definition of spirituality includes the ability to connect with ourselves, our true nature.”
Connecting with others, seems obvious, doesn’t it? And yet, connecting with others can be quite difficult for many people. Life has a way of making us cautious and so we may be careful opening ourselves to another person. We might get hurt.
Traumatic experiences with family and friends in the past can cause us to close the door to others. Adverse childhood experiences, rape, incest, rejection, and betrayal happen, and hurt deeply. Childhood trauma and trauma throughout one’s life can be very painful, and the memory of the experience can cause us to shutter, to shut down, and withdraw from others.
At our Institute we have a bereavement group which meets every Tuesday from 11:30 – 1:00 p.m. In that meeting we learn how devastating the trauma of loss of a loved one can be. Trying to share their pain, many are told to get over it, move on in life. Rejected, many withdraw and isolate themselves rather than try to share their pain. Trauma can make it difficult to connect.
James S. Gordon, M.D., spoke about this recently at our Institute. He has written a book entitled, The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma. The flyleaf of the book says that Dr. Gordon “invites the reader on a step-by-step, evidence-based journey to heal the psychological and biological damage that trauma brings and to become the people we are meant to be.” I can highly recommend the book.
Dr. Gordon says trauma turns our bodies against us. It keeps us bound to the fight or flight response, flooding our bodies with stress hormones, diminishing our immune system, and making us more vulnerable to infections and perhaps even cancer. In his book, Gordon offers clues as how to “tame trauma’s triggers.” One suggestion is that laughter breaks trauma’s spell. And, that it does.
Whatever it takes, if you find it is difficult to truly connect with others, get the help you need. Read Dr. Gordon’s book, attend one of our Institute’s mind-body skill groups, take a yoga or tai chi class, or find a good therapist. Don’t let trauma turn your body against you any longer.
John K. Graham
President and CEO – Institute for Spirituality and Health